


I Built A Home (Until It Disappeared)

by DemigodNamedAthena



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken Dreams just matches Roman so well!! This boy would, Gen, It's more of a bittersweet ending, It's sad! But a little hopeful!, M/M, i don't really know how to tag this, ish, request fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:08:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23759620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemigodNamedAthena/pseuds/DemigodNamedAthena
Summary: Roman didn’t like the rain either. He would open the curtains and dance with Patton in their small living room to take both their minds off the storm. Patton would giggle as Roman spun him around, and if they danced long enough, Patton would sing too. He was always self-conscious of his voice, but nothing made Roman’s heart swell more. And after Logan and Virgil came, they would dance as a family, Logan always protesting but weak to Virgil’s begging that he join.Well, there certainly wouldn’t be any dancing today.Or;Roman makes a mistake, and his family has to deal with the consequences
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Familial LAMP
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	I Built A Home (Until It Disappeared)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SparkeDawg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparkeDawg/gifts).



The sky was gray.

Storm clouds had been gathering all day, but the rain had yet to fall. No, the clouds simply hung in the sky, ominous and foreboding, and blotting out any trace of the sun. Roman had his hands in his jacket pockets and his eyes were on the ground.

Patton would be sad, he thought, that the sunshine was gone. Patton didn’t like the darkness, the gloomy feeling that followed the clouds into the city. 

_ At least I won’t have to worry about ruining his good mood,  _ Roman thought dejectedly. 

Normally, Roman didn’t like the rain either. He would open the curtains and dance with Patton in their small living room to take both their minds off the storm. Patton would giggle as Roman spun him around, and if they danced long enough, Patton would sing too. He was always self-conscious of his voice, but nothing made Roman’s heart swell more. And after Logan and Virgil came, they would dance as a family, Logan always protesting but weak to Virgil’s begging that he join.

Well, there certainly wouldn’t be any dancing today. 

The walk home seemed to take an eternity, but it was over too soon. God, how would he tell Patton this? And the kids...he was so  _ stupid.  _ If only he had thought things through. If only he had made a plan, talked through this with his husband,  _ anything.  _ But he hadn’t done any of those things, and now he was about to drop a pretty big bomb on his family’s head with no way to protect them from the fallout.

Roman hesitated when the bright yellow door came into his line of sight. He couldn’t do this, maybe he should walk around the block one more time, clear his head-

He was broken out of his thoughts by a raindrop hitting his head and sliding down his cheek. First one, then many more, until it was a downpour and Roman’s feet were squishing in his socks. He ran the last few feet to his door, fumbling momentarily with the wet key before tumbling into the warm house. Roman shivered as he shut the door behind him and grimaced at the puddle he was leaving on their floor.

“Roman? Sweetheart, is that you?” Patton’s voice floated to him from the kitchen, and Roman’s heart twisted in his chest.

“It’s me, Patton.” He called back, pulling off his wet shoes and leaving them at the coat rack before stepping into the hallway, towards his husband. There was a clatter of pans from the kitchen and Roman quickened his pace slightly, hoping Patton hadn’t hurt himself. 

When he rounded the corner, Patton was unharmed besides for a blob of bubbles on his face, and the blue dish gloves on his hands were explanation enough.

“Darling!” Patton chirped, beaming at him from across the counter. “I wasn’t expecting you home so early, did something happen at the office?” There was nothing accusatory in his tone, only a gentle curiosity, but Roman was swamped with a wave of guilt regardless.

“Sort of, not really. I actually need to talk to you, Patton, can we…?” Roman gestured to the couch, sticking his shaking hands in his pockets.

Concern flashed across Patton’s face and he pulled his gloves off quickly. “Of course, honey, what’s up?”

This was it. God, it was so much worse than he thought it would be. Patton looked so concerned, his face so soft and open, the pinch between his brows that he got when he was worried. Roman wanted to press his lips to that wrinkle, smooth it away with his thumb and a soft touch. He didn’t want to add to it, didn’t want to be the one to steal the sunshine from his Patton.

“I made a mistake.”

There, it was out in the open. Just like ripping off a band-aid. Patton’s face twisted in confusion.

“That’s okay, Ro, mistakes are fixable. They’re human.”

Damn it all, why did Patton have to be so  _ good? _

“Patton, my love, I’m afraid this one won’t be so easy to fix as some kind words and a positive attitude.” Roman reached into his wet jacket and pulled a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. He handed it to Patton and pinched his eyes shut, leaning against the back of the couch. 

The air was heavy and still in the living room, the only evidence that Patton had read the horrible slip his quiet, but sharp intake of breath.

“Roman...I think you may want to start from the beginning. I’m going to need some help putting this all together.” 

The beginning. Right. Roman took a deep breath.

“I had an opportunity. For a role. An old college friend -Janus Damien, do you remember him?- wrote a screenplay and he recommended me for the lead. The director called me and asked if I would like to audition, and I haven’t really done any acting since college but I  _ loved _ it, Patton, it was my dream. And then you became my dream, and life happened, and I got the job with Stephen and I forgot about acting.”

Roman brought his hand up to his head and pressed on his eyes as if that could stem the rising migraine. 

“But when this director called me...it was like all my dreams were coming true, Pat. And I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t know if it was a sure thing, but the audition went so well and the director said I was a shoe-in, and Janus wanted me for the part, and it seemed like it was going to happen. So I gave my two weeks at the office and started brushing up on my skills.”

Tears were gathering in Roman’s eyes, but they weren’t evident in his voice yet, so he just swept them away and kept talking. 

“I wanted to surprise you with news of the role. But something happened, I don’t really understand it but I guess the studio that they were working with pulled out and the whole thing fell through. Stephen wouldn’t take me back, and I didn’t want to tell you because it was so embarrassing, and I felt like such an idiot for not telling you in the first place, and I thought I could fix it. But weeks went by and I wasn’t getting rehired and it just...snowballed. Then this morning there was that notice pinned to the door and I realized how stupid I had been.”

Now that he had started, it was like he couldn’t stop, just unloading the last month’s worth of turmoil and thick, painful emotions into the space between himself and his husband. He was crying steadily now, having given up and hiding his tears. He felt horrible, crushing shame, and the overwhelming feeling that he didn’t deserve to cry over this, that it was his mistake and his family that it was hurting.

It was quiet in the living room. Roman could hardly bear to open his eyes and face reality, but he knew he had to. He cracked one eye and looked at Patton. His husband had pulled his knees up to his chest, his bare feet on the couch cushion and his face blank. He was staring at the yellow piece of paper in his hands, and he was very, very, still.

Roman bit his lip. He wanted so desperately to ask Patton to say something,  _ anything,  _ to crawl into his husband’s lap and seek comfort for the ache in his heart. But that was selfish of him. He had had time to process this (though time didn’t help, not at all, everything was still just as impossible and overwhelming and painful as it had been 29 days ago,) and he couldn’t deny his husband time to process. 

“So...we’re both unemployed. And now we’re homeless. With two young kids to take care of.” Patton’s voice was devoid of emotion. Roman shut his eyes and nodded, unable to form a vocal response. 

“I’m so sorry, Patton, I never meant for any of this to happen. I just want you to be happy, and to create a place for you and Logan and Virgil to live securely. But I’m so  _ tired _ , Patton. I hate working at that damn office, and I was willing to do it for you and the boys, but when the chance to do something that I loved came up...I don't know. I had to take it. I can’t keep living like this, Pat. I can’t.” 

His husband was quiet and so was Roman. The boys would be coming home from school soon, and the last thing Roman wanted was for them to come home to such a scene, but he didn’t know how to resolve this situation. Fuck, how were they going to explain this to Logan and Virgil?

Patton dropped his head into his hands and took a shuddering breath. Roman’s hands hovered, uncertain how, or even if he should comfort him, when the front door opened. 

“Hi Papa!” Logan’s voice called from the foyer. Patton’s shoulders started shaking when he heard their son’s voice, and Roman sucked in a breath.

“Hey Lolo!” Roman called, trying to force some cheer into his voice.

“Dad?” Virgil’s voice this time, concern tinting the young child’s tone. A head of curly brown hair appeared in the doorway, followed by the bespectacled face of his older brother. “What are you doing home?”

Anxiety twisted in Roman’s chest, cold and painful. He looked over to his husband, whose face was still buried in his hands. No support from Patton, then.

“Well, kids, Daddy and Papa actually have something to tell you.”

Good lord, if he thought telling Patton was hard, it was nothing compared to this. How do you tell your children that they have to leave their house? Where would they go? Logan was a clever kid, more intelligent than anyone expected from an eight year old, but understanding something intellectually had nothing on how one would react emotionally. And Virgil? The kid was worried constantly, and Roman couldn’t help but worry that the recent, happy kid that they’d coaxed out of his shell would vanish if they sprung this information on him.

_ Well Roman,  _ his inner voice whispered.  _ You’ve made your bed, now lie in it. _

“Logan, Virgil, we’re going to stay with your Uncle for a bit, and Daddy and I are going to look for a new house.” 

Virgil’s face twisted into one of confusion, while Roman could practically see the thoughts churning in Logan’s brain. 

“We’re...not going to live here anymore?” Virgil’s voice was small, and Roan opened his arms in invitation for the small child to crawl into his lap. He went without hesitation, which caused Roman to breathe a small sigh of relief.

“No, kiddo, we’re going to find a new house.” Roman could feel a lump in his throat but he trusted that it wasn’t too evident in his voice as he twisted a lock of Virgil’s hair around his finger. Virgil was quiet for a long moment before speaking.

“Can we paint my new room purple?”

A wet chuckle burst past Roman’s lips and he kissed Virgil’s forehead.

“Whatever you want, kiddo, we can do that.” 

Virgil gave a decisive nod before sliding off Roman’s lap and grabbing his brother’s hand.

“C’mon Lo, let’s go pack for Uncle Rem’s house!”

Logan, still lost in thought, followed after his brother without protest, and Roman looked over at Patton. His eyes were red, and so many emotions were playing across his face at once that Roman didn’t stand a chance of deciphering them.

“I’ll call Remus,” Roman said softly. “Do you want a moment to yourself?”

Patton wiped at his eyes and sniffled. Roman yearned to wipe the tears from his love’s face, to make things better, but he knew to give his husband space. The comfort would be for him more than Patton. Eventually, Patton just shook his head and stood.

“I’m gonna go keep an eye on the boys. Make sure they get what they need.” His voice was as hollow as his eyes. There was just a slight waver at the end of his sentence to indicate the emotional state he was currently in and it squeezed at Roman’s heart just as hard as his tears had.

So Patton disappeared around the corner, after their sons, leaving Roman alone in a living room that was no longer his. He pulled his phone out of his book and thumbed over to his brother’s contact, pressing the “call” button. The future was terrifying, and uncertain, and Roman couldn’t deny the fear threading through his veins. 

But as his brother’s voice came crackling through the phone speaker, and he heard Virgil’s quiet laughter from down the hall, he thought that perhaps if he could hold on to his family, things might be okay. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!   
> I wrote this for my friend Foster, I'm sorry this took so long, I hope you enjoyed!  
> Comments feed my soul and make me do a little happy dance! I hope everyone is staying safe during these times <3  
> I'm on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/demigodnamedathena), if you're interested in that.  
> Peace and love,   
> -Athena


End file.
